


Day 5: Eating

by Bakagamii



Series: AoKaga Month 2016 [5]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Bulimia, Eating Disorders, M/M, Purging, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 14:51:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7688734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bakagamii/pseuds/Bakagamii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The six stages of an eating disorder.</p><p>TRIGGER WARNING</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Four

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I'd like to address how personal this can be for some of you. For me it was particularly hard to write given my own agenda with this disorder (in general). It was painful to write I'm not going to lie, but honestly, I felt I needed to. If that makes sense, I don't even know.  
> I tried my absolute hardest to not make this unrealistic, whether I have succeeded will be up to you so ^^' I hope I did okay?  
> These stages come from another page to, where it gives tips on how to write eating disorders so credit to them for the idea I suppose? Haha well, enjoy! 
> 
> ~ Geo

Obliviousness

 

"How could someone who eats so much gain such little weight?" 

Kagami isn't a small guy, not at all, but the total sum of time he plays basketball or just exercises in general doesn't exactly compensate for the bulks of food he shovels down his throat. 

Nobody ever saw it as a problem really, not even Kagami himself to begin with, although when he was younger and he saw his protruding belly and chubby face after a late night binge the redhead had led himself to believe that he was fat. 

By that time he'd seen a few movies where some girls would force themselves to throw up, saying that it was _'in order to be pretty' _or whatever and Kagami thought it was actually a pretty good idea.__

__He didn't even know it was considered an eating disorder, heck, he didn't even know what that was!_ _

__Kagami attempted it one day after eating copius amounts of food, making sure to run the water so his dad wouldn't get suspicious by the sound of him vomiting and hesitantly knelt over the toilet, copying what the girls had done._ _

__This kept happening, over and over. Every time Kagami thought he ate too much he spat it right out into the place that had now become his 'secret sanctuary'._ _

__Kagami's obliviousness to the whole ordeal was something that couldn't be helped in reality._ _

__He truly didn't register what it was doing to him, that his throat was inflamed or that his teeth were slowly decaying because of his untold sin; no one else noticed either, until his father figured it out one late night in Spring, when the flowing water hadn't been enough to hide the distressing sounds of his son mutilating his body._ _

__

__Denial_ _

__

__The preteens first reaction was refutal, he dismissed any problem his dad assumed he had and inevitably, this put a strain on their relationship._ _

__Kagami's dad tried his absolute best to pull his child through this horrific time in his life but the way he strifled didn't help._ _

__Angry outbursts and an attempt to control the situation pulled them further apart rather than make them closer. His dad clearly didn't know what to do and when talking with Alex about it, he discovered that the way he handled it hadn't been proper._ _

__So that's why, when Kagami asked one thing of him, to go to Japan and explore the other half of his ethnicity, he allowed it._ _

__All along he'd been a shocking parent so who was he to hold back his now teenage son, who could do whatever he wanted?  
The elder Kagami didn't want their relationship to be severed completely as well, that's why he helped in the process. Even deciding to pay rent for his sons apartment. _ _

__'It was the least I could do.' He thought, the day after his only child left him on his own, 'ultimately, I was a terrible father.'_ _

__

__Anger_ _

__

__Arriving home after a dinner with Seirin to celebrate their latest victory, Kagami removed his shoes and placed them in the rack beside the door._ _

__The power forward winced, experiencing the burgers churning within his stomach and at once bestowing him a reason to give into his deplorable habit. The fact he had a fight with his boyfriend earlier didn't help his overwhelming urge too._ _

__Instantly, he ran to the bathroom and jammed his long fingers hard down his throat, the vomit surging out of him._ _

__Once finished Kagami laid on the ground, unlike his usual procedure and felt tears roll off his face and onto the bathroom tiles._ _

__'I shouldn't feel guilty,' he thinks, 'this isn't a bad thing.' His mind flickers back to when his dad shouted at him that he has a disease and that he needs help._ _

__Kagami remembers as clear as day the disappointed look his father shot him, the look he obviously thought Kagami didn't pick up on. It was as if he was trying to say, 'my only son is a failure.'_ _

__A blinding rage built up as he raced over the memories in his head, and without thinking too much about it, Kagami sat up and BAM!_ _

__He pulled his fist back and punched the wall that was in front of him, his adrenaline too high to give a damn about any pain._ _

__His thoughts flipped to Aomine next and the things he said when they had a lovers spat about his eating habits._ _

__Kagami's boyfriend isn't stupid, contrary to popular belief._ _

__Aomine can tell when his tiger is having a bad day based on the hoarseness of his voice and that shatters his heart._ _

__(In all honesty the only reason Aomine can guess he's bulimic is due to Momoi having a similar issue.)_ _

__The bluenette had finally had enough today. He spoke his concerns and Kagami shouted back at him, furious that he'd even suggest he has a disorder._ _

__The guilt is eating up at him now. Ebbing away at his already broken self._ _

__"Recognize you have a _problem _Kagami!"___ _

____'Should I?' He mused, scanning his eyes over his bloody knuckles. ' _Is _there a problem?'___ _ _ _

______"Don't _do _this to yourself..."___ _ _ _ _ _

________'I'm doing nothing!' He remembers screaming back. Now, he says to himself, "what _am _I doing?"___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Memories of his last hospital visit sprung to mind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Sluggishly, Kagami stood to his feet and staggered over to where he put his bag. He fetched out his phone and hit on his favorites button, ringing up his enemy turned boyfriend._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Kagami?!" Was the first thing he heard, and with a trembling voice, mumbled..._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"I think..." He took a deep breath, "I think I need help."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Recognizing_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________In fifteen minutes flat Aomine arrived to Kagami's apartment and slammed his hands against the front door, "open up!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Don't fucking shout Aho, it's one in the morning," Kagami clutched the other mans shirt and tugged him into the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Spotting the bloodshot eyes and tear stained face, Aomine's heart skipped a beat in utter sorrow, "Kagami, were you just crying-?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________To ignore his question, Kagami told him to sit down on the sofa. The bluenette did so in fear he wouldn't get answers otherwise._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________They sat in silence for awhile longer. Kagami collecting his thoughts and Aomine terrified of what his lover was going to say._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Um," Aomine perked up at that, intensifying Kagami's nervousness, "to start with..."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He explained everything. The films he'd seen, when he first tried it, his dad finding out; everything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________By the end of it Aomine was crying. The sobs were stifled at first as he attempted to hide his anguish, however as the story progressed all his defences washed away in the salty liquid streaming down his face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The sight of his boyfriend in such a vulnerable state lulled him into submissal, his façade crumbling much like Aomine. In order to seek comfort he rested his cheek on Aomine's shoulder; a secret way to hide his own tears._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"It's not like I ever thought I was particularly big," he whispered through the sniffles, "someone told me because I ate so much that I'd get fat... I didn't believe them until I saw evidence..."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Evidence?" Aomine exhaled, disbelief had stolen his breath. He couldn't imagine Kagami even slightly chubby._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Yeah..." Kagami chuckled numbly, "I exercised a lot too y'know. I wasn't always like- this-" He waved his arms around his body to show what 'this' is._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Were you ever..." He dreading bringing it up but Kagami prompted him to continue with a kiss on the cheek, "ever in hospital?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The redhead tensed then, he debated whether he should tell the truth or lie. Eventually deciding that lying would be a waste of time, he told of when he tore his esophogas and had to have surgery to fix it, "I could've died," Kagami smiled as if it was a joke._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Luckily Aomine couldn't see his smile, otherwise more questions would be raised about Kagami's mental health, "you didn't though. For that I'm grateful."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Kagami gazed up into Aomine's tear filled eyes and placed a sunkissed hand on the others chest, his fingers absentmindedly rubbing up against him in a comforting gesture, "I-" Kagami shook his head, "never mind."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Don't do that Baka," Aomine pecked his forehead, "you're telling all tonight, okay?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"Okay," Kagami huffed, "I was going to say that, um," he stopped his fingers ministrations, "I'm grateful to you too."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________"But thing is..." He carried on, his voice slowly becoming weaker, "can we get through this?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. First Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Ending~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!  
> ~ Geo

Fighting

 

A month later and Kagami had tried to beat what he now recognized as a disease. He visited all the websites, blogs, and even told his closest friend Kuroko what had been going on with him. 

He suggested telling Seirin in case they brought up that they noticed Kagami had stopped binging as much as usual. Kagami didn't see it as a necessity though, and so didn't bother. 

The power forward already felt the difference actually. His joints were no longer as sore, and his fingers didn't have any teeth marks imbedded in his skin anymore. 

Aomine made sure he didn't fall back into it. He told his parents that he had to be there for a friend and they accepted it, having never seen their son quite so serious about anyone. 

He'd been cohabiting with Kagami for the majority of the month therefore and used the opportunity to take care of his lover. Sound unreal? Well, nobody would believe it, even if they saw it! 

There had been one incident when Kagami thought he ate too much.

He ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him and locking it. Aomine was close behind but not enough to stop him physically and so he pleaded. 

"Please, Taiga," he begged, "don't do it, you're beautiful, _Taiga _!"__

__It took around half an hours worth of coaxing and pleading.  
Aomine wouldn't have changed that for anything though, because it meant that his Kagami didn't do it. He didn't listen to the voices in his head telling him to control some aspect of his life; Kagami concentrated on the weak baritone calling to him, the pummeling of his tanned fist on the door and the sound of what seemed like sobs. _ _

__Unlocking it, he expected stern words and a scolding but instead he received a hug and a desperate kiss on the lips, "Daiki..." He mumbled when their mouths were no longer connected._ _

__"D-Don't do that again- promise me-!" Aomine stuttered, for one of the first times in his life._ _

__That's why Kagami promised. He swore on his life he wouldn't, earning him a soft laugh from his still shook up boyfriend._ _

__"Swear on my life," He said. "Not yours."_ _

__And so he did._ _

__

__Recovery_ _

__

__The road was long and excruciatingly difficult. Kagami honestly didn't know whether he'd ever get over his obsession with food, Aomine convinced him otherwise though._ _

__Kagami could never be completely free from the voices that insisted he threw up, after all, they were the only friends he'd ever known._ _

__Until now, of course._ _

__Aomine had suggested a therapist one day when he was feeling particularly down. Kagami shrugged him off and complained. "Too much damn money. Besides, I already have you."_ _

__Thinking of something better, Aomine rung up Kagami's father (he found his number in Kagami's phone) and told him he'd been helping his son during the whole ordeal, that he'd been without purging for two months._ _

__Aomine didn't expect him to cry._ _

__That's why when Kagami got a call from his dad later that night, talking it out with him and actually having a decent conversation for once, the redhead pounced on Aomine. He cuddled him and kissed him over and over, his affection knowing no bounds after the act Aomine had just committed._ _

__"I love you," Kagami muttered, his fingers messing with the mop of navy hair atop his lovers head._ _

__With a wide grin and sparkling eyes, Aomine said it back with a passionate, love filled kiss._ _

___Nothing _could break them now.__ _ _


End file.
